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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Happy Birthday Miles

That's right, my little baby is now a One Year Old Toddler! In some ways, it seems like time flew by, like it was just yesterday that I was still pregnant and waiting to meet my child. But when I really look back on all that has happened in the last year, physically and emotionally, it does feel like a whole year has passed. It feels like a century has passed!

One year ago, my heart ached so much for the baby I wanted to have and didn't get. I felt like the Universe had betrayed me and I would never feel happiness again. Now I feel happiness every time I look at my Miles and I feel completely blessed by his presence in my life. The Universe did not betray me, instead I can clearly see the path that led me to this moment and how prepared I was to deal with it.

One year ago Miles lay next to me, barely opening his eyes or making any sound, his skinny little legs and soft mushy body seemed to fragile. It took him months to gain strength in his neck and to move around at all. We could put him down on his side or back and he would not change positions for hours. Now, this little dude can't be contained!

Though he is still not crawling, he is doing "the worm" at lightning speed. In the last week, since he turned One, he is finally changing positions with ease. He can go from prone (on his belly) to sitting up and back to prone in seconds. Although he is still soft and cuddly, he has so much more strength in his spine and torso. When I hold him, he fidgets around like other kids his age and I can feel him using his muscles. But the most amazing new development since Miles turned One is that we had to put his crib mattress down! That's right, little man has managed to pull himself up on his crib a few times now! He can't sustain it though, so he ends up falling backward and getting his neck stuck on the bar. Not a good thing....so we moved the mattress down.

Miles is also very busy and curious. He loves playing with anything! Balloons are a new favorite and he can sit for a half hour pulling on a string with a balloon at the end of it. He'll crawl around the office knocking down garbage cans, into the kitchen where he bangs on the cabinet doors (he hasn't figured out how to open them yet), into the dining room where he plays with the rug. He'll sit in front of a mirror and excitedly yell at his reflection. He eats just about any food, seems comfortable with most people in any situation, and loves watching older kids. He no longer hits the guitar but gently strums it.

Miles knows that I am his mom and Zach is his dad. He gets excited to see us and comes towards us so we can hold him. He understands when we are mad at him and he knows how to get what he wants. I mean, I could go on and on and on. The reality is that so much has happened in the last year and these are just some developmental milestones!

These are all things I didn't know if he would ever do! I was so afraid a year ago. I didn't know what to expect and talking to other people usually made it worse because they didn't know what to expect either. So far, Miles has shown me that he is bright and strong, resilient and curious, good-natured and stubborn. It can take him a while to learn something, but once he gets it, he doesn't forget. And he doesn't give up.

Every day of my life with Miles is filled with wonder, magic and joy....sprinkled with exhaustion, frustration and guilt. But that's life and it ain't so bad. In fact it's great.

Happy One Year Birthday my boy!!! I look forward to this new year of life with you!


  1. Very beautifully said. He is all that and much more which he will show us later on in life...we still have a lot to learn from this little person who has enlighten all our lives. Love, Abue

  2. Damn straight, sister-woman (and mama-woman). Este niño es una criatura preciosa, chistosa y capaz; and I am looking forward to the simple act of his being in our lives and us in his.