Photos

I have felt a lot of regret because we didn't take enough photos of Miles when he was born. I just went back and looked at all the hospital and first week photos that I have and there's just a handful. In fact, there isn't one photograph of Zach, Miles and me at the hospital as the "Happy Family". There are just a couple of pics of Miles and me and another few of Miles by himself.


For a fee, the hospital would provide a professional photographer to come to your room and take pictures of your beautiful new baby and family. The photographer stopped by our room to see if we were interested in having the photos taken. It took everything in me not to yell at her, "My baby has Down syndrome, can't you tell. We don't want any pictures!!"

I think we were scared to take pictures of him. We were afraid of what those photos would tell us about ourselves, more than about him. And I regret giving into my fear, because now I don't have many photos to show off or remember the occasion.

As I look back at the pictures that I do have, I am glad to see that amid all the fear and sadness, there was a lot of love and it shows. I might look like I got hit by a train, but I look happy. And Miles, well, he looks beautiful, as always.


It's amazing to look at those photos and realize certain things that I had already forgotten, like the fact that Miles had a herniated belly button. It looked like a water spout and we were told it could take up to two years for it to go back to normal. It only took about 4 months!

He had really skinny, bow-legs and we were afraid that he would need orthopedic shoes to straighten them out.

He now has chunky turkey legs which look perfectly straight.

He had a receding hairline; he now has very cute bangs that cover his forehead.

He had a sweet little angel pout when he slept....he still has that.

He would clasp his hands by his chest in a prayer position; he still does that. And he would stare at you very seriously and focused for minutes on end. You felt like he was looking into your soul. Well, he can still bore a hole into your soul, but he'll always crack a smile now to let you know he's just messing with you!

I still regret not having taken those professional photos. I was afraid of what those photos would reflect back to me and I let the fear stop me. Trust me, I will never let that happen again!

The "Happy Family" when Miles was 3 weeks and then at 6 months old