Thanks to a friend's recommendation, I submitted my story to "Her Story", an ongoing series of stories about real moms juggling their lives. I was given a camera and asked to document my life with Miles for about one week. I was also asked several interview questions which I also filmed without censoring. I sent it all in and they edited it into a beautiful 5 minute documentary about us.
I was incredibly happy and moved by the finished story and I was ready to share it with all my friends and family when I stalled. I had to rethink it all. I put myself in a very vulnerable position by sharing my story in that medium. Here in my blog, I feel like I still get to hide a little behind the words. But on film, well, you see me. You see us, our lives and that's more private. Or it it?
I thought about my reasons for having to share my story in this way and my reasons for being afraid to share. My main and only reason for not wanting to share was my fear of people thinking negatively of Miles or of me for having him. Yes, those people are still out there, they definitely exist and although I believe that they are wrong for hating, I also know that their hatred hurts. And I was afraid of being hurt.
My reasons for sharing? To let the world know what an awesome kid Miles is. To let other parents going through similar situations know that they are not alone. To create something positive and send it out into the world where others can share it and hopefully learn from it. To honor my son who I am so incredibly proud of. And on and on.
You see, what I realized once more is that I am an actress and a writer and this are my mediums. I like to express and share and explore the human condition. I like to empathize with and move other people. That's what I do. So I have to keep doing it. And that's what I did.
The video is up on the Parents Ask website. Click here to watch the video.
And share it. Please share it. That's what it's for.