Oh man, today is one of those days where things aren't going as planned and I feel cooped up and annoyed, but it's really not that bad I need to just be patient and go with the flow but I'm having a hard time doing it! Phew!
Today was supposed to be a fun, productive day starting out with therapy, and hanging out with some friends and with our cousins who are in town from Texas. But Miles woke up with a cold. He's got the watery eyes, the snot dripping down, the sneezing and coughing, the red, bumpy cheeks from the heat that won't abate, and he's acting like a little wild man! I had to cancel everything and instead I'm stuck at home with a sick baby who doesn't want to nap. I feel terrible for him, but I'm also feeling frustrated for me.
With all of Miles' therapies and classes and all of my jobs, auditions and running around, it is hard to find time for us to just hang out and do fun things. It's hard to find the time to get out of the house and go to the park, the play gym, the pool, visit friends, go to the museum...just do the things that I always thought I'd have so much time for. I'm constantly making and breaking plans with friends because I usually only have one free afternoon a week and something inevitably comes up. Like today.
But the most frustrating part is that he doesn't want to sleep! He is sick and tired, but he will not fall asleep in his crib. Sure if I took him for stroll he would conk out, but it's 90 degrees outside. I ain't taking a walk! Should I just put him in the car and go for a ride? I might have to, but the thought of driving around aimlessly for 2 hours wasting gas is not fun! So I'm sitting here writing while he's in his room banging a toy in his crib and wailing like a cat every now and then. That's his thing, he'll make these odd sounds where he is not crying or yelling, but sort of wailing from deep inside. They're loud sounds that sometimes turn into a "conversation" of sorts. Honestly, I've never heard another baby make these sounds....they seem uniquely his.
But wait....all is quiet. Is he asleep? I don't have a video monitor so I can't tell for sure and I'm afraid if I peek in there he'll wake up. So I'll wait.
Oh...nope, not asleep. Just quiet for a moment.
I feel like I can't even do anything productive at this time because I don't want to start anything that I might have to leave half done. I'm just wasting time and writing a pretty boring blog entry because I can't even think straight!!!
But wait....is he really asleep now? Could it be? I think so.
Woo-hoo, what to do with my free time? Cook, clean, read, shower, exercise? Meditate. I think I need to meditate because I'm still not in a good head space. Ooooooommmmmm.