Yep, He's Really a Toddler

I'm struggling a little bit these days because my very easy little baby is turning into a full fledged toddler. I've gotten so used to Miles being easier than most babies, he would nap anywhere, eat anything, use his high chair, endlessly play with his toys without needing my attention...the list goes on. Now, Mr. Miles is Mr. Busy! He is constantly blabbing, wanting to know what things are, pointing to the fan and the lights and the doors and people asking "ya" or "aya" over and over and over again. He's up at 6am talking, standing in his crib, ready to start the party. The sun's not even up and he wants to play play play. Playtime all the time!

These days, food time is tantrum time. Not all the time, but often enough that I get nervous around meal time. I'll sit him in his high chair and he knows he's about to get food. He yells, "Don't tie me down!" or at least that's what I imagine him yelling if he could speak. Instead he screams, thrashes and makes angry faces at me. The thing is it doesn't last too long and I usually manage to get him to taste the food. Once he takes a few bites and realizes I'm not trying to poison him, he'll eat. Though not necessarily the whole meal.

In the last week, Miles' curiosity and ability to make connections has exploded! He's busy and constantly wanting to communicate or play or be held...there's always something going on. He's behaving completely normal...like a toddler. I'm just not used to that. All my friends with toddlers have been running after their kids for the last six months and I've been sitting back thinking, "Hmm, that's not gonna be me". Now I'm eating my words cause it is me! And I'm exhausted. But happy. So happy at all the amazing progress Miles has made.

Besides the constant blabbing and pointing at things, I can hear that his babbling has become more complex with more consonants and vowels. He is also blowing bubbles in the bathtub. He sticks his face in the water and blows bubbles! I think it's time for him to start another round of swim lessons. He's also a great imitator. He'll imitate both sounds and gestures, which really makes me feel like his cognitive skills are strong. He's been crawling now since the beginning of January and getting better at it every day. Also, he is standing for longer periods of time and not only cruising back and forth while holding on to something, hcan now pivot, go around the coffee table and go from one couch to another. He's just getting so much stronger.

Miles has also become a guitar virtuoso. Okay maybe not quite a virtuoso, but for a 17 month old baby, he can play! Put a guitar in front of him and he no longer mashes it with his hands, he actually strums and uses his little fingers to touch the individual strings, making beautiful sounds. It makes me smile just thinking about how far he's come. I put him in music classes when he was just 5 months old. He couldn't even sit up on his own and I didn't know anyone in the class. All their babies were sitting or even crawling. It was hard showing up to this group of complete strangers and cheer on my baby who could barely put together what was happening. It is now a year later and and when the teacher takes out the guitar, Miles knows exactly what's happening. He perks up and crawls right to her and starts strumming her guitar. And at the end of class, when the teacher holds out the pick for the kids to strum with, he knows exactly what to do. I don't know if I can fully express how awesome it feels to see Miles hold the pick between his two tiny fingers and hold it up to the strings. It's like magic.

So if Miles is doing so well and I'm so happy, what am I even struggling with?
I'm struggling with time and schedules and routines. I'm constantly tired and need more patience to deal with....everything! I know that Miles, and children in general, thrives with routines and the proper amount of sleep. But ever since our trip to Panama it's been very difficult to balance it all. He isn't sleeping well at night, has not been able to fully shake off the cold he caught in Panama, and his mind is exploding with life. Add to that my constantly changing work schedule, his new therapy schedule and my need to make "me" time, that it's no wonder I feel foggy, tired and negative.

What's the remedy? Breathing, exercising, and carving out time for everything. Slowing down even if it feels like I need to speed up. It's easier said than done, but I need to try it because I can't go on like this. What I really, really want is a vacation...by myself. I want to get pampered in mineral waters and do yoga and eat healthy and write and read and daydream. But for now, I'll take 10 minutes to sit here and daydream about it all, calm my breath and know that it will be all right. Right?