I had the most delicious grilled calamari dinner last night, sitting at the bar of a beautiful restaurant all by myself. I struck up conversations with the bartenders and the people sitting around me. It was a lovely meal, I felt alive and happy and full energy while just an hour before I was ready to pass out from hunger and exhaustion. Being pregnant and taking care of a toddler is tough work!! Every woman's pregnancy is different. For me, this one is all about food. The endless search for food. Food equals energy. And I can't have the same kind of food all the time; I need variety! Lots of it! I never know what I'm going to be in the mood for, or what's going to gross me out. So I spend most of my days thinking about, making or searching for food. Oh yeah, and taking care of Miles, making sure he's fed and happy. I'm telling you, it's exhausting!!
So yesterday afternoon, I knew things were going south when I looked at my fridge, full of leftovers and I felt like crying. I was tired of lentils and black eyed peas! No more chicken please!! Rice? Salad? Frozen pizza? Meat pie? Yuck, yuck yuck! On Monday I spend the day cooking so I would have enough food for the rest of the week. But by Thursday night I could not look at one more piece of chicken. I was starving and had no idea what I was actually in the mood for. I just knew that nothing at home appetized me. I still had to feed Miles, give him a bath and put him to bed. But all I could think of was, "What am I going to eat tonight??". Miles was probably hungry and I could tell he was tired, but I just couldn't get myself off the grass and get things started. When I'm that hungry, not only do I get tired, I get angry and sour and I feel hopeless. It's depressing really. Just when I was ready to cry, Zach showed up early from work! Woo-hoo, my salvation! He was tired, but was ready to take care of Miles because he hadn't seen him much in the last few days.
He took Miles inside the house to wind down and get ready for dinner. I'm standing in the kitchen, looking at the mess around me (because the kitchen is usually a wreck by the end of the day), still trying to figure out what on Earth I want to have for dinner, when it hit me! I want to go out for a nice meal, in a beautiful restaurant, with other people cooking and cleaning. I don't want anything heavy or greasy, but fresh, clean and fancy. And I must have it now!! So I call out to Zach to see if he'd like to join me for dinner while I scan the names of babysitters in my head. Someone might be available right now, it's still early and if all fails, I'll call my mom (though she had already spend the day helping me with Miles). To my surprise, Zach didn't want to go out to dinner. He had a huge lunch and wasn't hungry. But he could see from my face that my need to get out of the house for a fancy meal was intense (and probably irrational). But it was real. So without skipping a beat, he told me he'd put Miles to bed and I should go eat right away. So I did!
I threw on some jeans, combed my hair and flew out the door. I knew exactly where I wanted to go and it was only three blocks from my house. So within ten minutes, I was sitting at the bar, ordering grilled calamari, a bottle of mineral water and singing along to Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean". Ahhhh....heaven. I am so fortunate that my husband knows me so well, understands how important food is to me (especially when I'm pregnant) and doesn't have any problem taking care of things at home. Ninety minutes later I was home with a full belly and a smile on my face, enjoying the rest of the evening with Zach!